Insta-Famous Giant White Swan Pool Float
Symbolizing peace, serenity, and traditional Puritan love-making, this large piece of Chinese plastic melded into the form of a giant swan pool float is so big that it serves absolutely zero purpose.
You will blow this up, take one Instagram picture, and spend the rest of the day wondering if Taylor Swift actually enjoys having an oversized plastic bird floating in her pool. Spoiler alert: YOU will not. People will still undoubtedly fail to heed my warnings and buy this anyway, and I will probably get fired for writing this product description, but don't say I didn't warn you.