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The perks of retirement homes are endless: bingo, a constant flow of maids, frequent sex, no condoms, all the hard candy you want, Jell-O and other assorted soft foods. But the best part is, yes, you guessed it: Pool Pilates with Pamela before lunch on Tuesdays. As an ode to you staying young and spry, we made The Geriatric. It's the best part of retirement between your legs. 

Product Details

  • Quick-drying, soft and smooth on your gear, high-res print
  • Fits tight, we suggest 1 size up
  • Fully lined with elastic waistband and drawstring
  • Don’t be a shirt swimmer
  • Inseam: Negative, Ghost Rider
  • Material: Shell: 88% Polyester, 12% Spandex; Lining: 100% Polyester
  • Hand Wash…well
  • Brand: Shinesty
"My Dong Sarong has made me the coolest kid at the retirement home. Free cookies and tuna sandwiches for days!"

Robert H.

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