THE DETROIT RED WINGS | OFFICIAL NHL UNISEX ONESIE

You're probably thinking, "This slick willy of a Detroit Red Wings onesie is something I can get behind," and we'd say you're right. Now, is this something you could wear on the rink? Absolutely not, but the Zamboni driver could actually get away with it. 

Let's dive into the details. Number one, there's a five-hole crapper flap made exactly for fast dumps so you can get back the couch to watch what hockey is known for...fights. Second, it's official. Like NHL, really, really official...meaning you could technically slang this thing on eBay and get all your money back. Lastly, the ankles and wrists are cuffed, so people trying to jack your swag will have a hard time doing so.