Here is what you need to know about the Red & Black Lumberjack Buffalo Check Party Blazer (or suit or pants or whatever look you are into):
*This red plaid Christmas suit is not for hipsters, whatsoever. Sure, you may be saying, "But, I'm pretty sure you're a hipster company selling hipster gear." Yes, we may sell some hipster gear, but we are not hipsters and here is why:
1) We have only hired 3 vegans to date as mandated by local law
2) We only stock generic beer from Kirkland in the fridge
3) We have one employee whose only job on Tuesday is to chop wood until his calluses crack or until two chords of wood have been cut
4) We only allow black drip coffee made from a Black & Decker coffee pot
5) Journals to reflect on your daily thoughts are not allowed on the premises
6) We have taken "GMO," "paleo diet," & "vegetarian" out of our company printed dictionary given to every new hire
7) We don't allow oval-rimmed, yellow lensed glasses in the office (That's a lie if Connor is reading this)
8) Film and Polaroid cameras are banned for eternity at our HQ (Except Hannah she's got some great ones)
9) Express written consent is required from the CEO for all man-buns